Sorry for making you wait.

 

First thing first,

Where the hell have I been for the past 2 years? How on earth I skip 2023 and not write anything in 2023??

But so many things happened???

There is a new plot, a new storyline, and a new character.

Interesting. I will always be surrounded by drama I guess haha. 

"I swear, I don't love the drama, it loves me". These lyrics are literally defining the story of my life.

This will be a short post, since I want to start writing poetry again, yeay.

But I'll answer some questions.

What happened to your group of 'so-called friends'?

Well, we are pretty much divided. From 6 members to 3 members. To 4 and then it goes back to 3.

And we have pretty much gotten closer than ever. And I'm delighted and grateful for having them in my life, Alhamdulillah. They are like my older sisters that I never had :) And we travel the world together just like the famous 3 musketeers <3

What happened to the famous feud and all your nemesis?

One of them, which is my very first friend when I came here, came and apologize to me. She acknowledged everything that she and her friends did to me. And that was all I ever need. A closure. Thank you for coming forward. And the other 3? I don't ask anything from them, I just don't want to be near them anymore, that's all.

What happened...to him..or maybe the question is what happened between me and him?

Yes, this question. I have been waiting for this question for so long just like I have been waiting for him to make up his mind and probably, finally, choose me, which he did not.

I guess finally after 2 years, I finally got my answer.

I can wait long enough, I'll never get tired of it, but then I realized.

It was not about waiting for him to choose me. 

It was about me, finally realizing that he will never choose me. I will always be his second option, his backup plan, his 'almost'. I will never be enough for him.

And for some reason, it will always haunt us, what we almost had. What could have been.

But we respected and admired each other so much that we decided to become good friends. We are really on good terms, I can tell you that at least. I do care about him because he used to be someone important to me in my life at one point, but that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

There is happiness after you but there was happiness because of you.

Happiness after you..new character?

Well, I am still in the 'we'll see where it goes,' phase, so I will not be commenting much about this hahaha. 

If 'he' taught me how to love, you taught me how it feels to be loved.

Invisible strings all the way.

So how's life recently?

A lot has been happening really. I am in clinical years now yeay! I guess my next post will be in my housemanship years hahaha.

It is a lottttttttttt tougher than what I have been experiencing for the past 2 years. But for some reason, I found myself stronger than ever. I am standing strong when I should have collapsed. Just that I am tired. Mentally and physically. Just want to disappear. Still, I am so freaking proud of myself. I am still here, standing stronger than ever when I was pushed down the rabbit hole. I found my way back up. I stood for myself and for others who were in need. My voice is louder than ever and my swords have been slaughtering all these enemies around me. My reputation? Down the hell but at least I survived.

Healing is weird.  I am happy but sometimes I'm still grieving for everything and all the people I have lost. 

Well, that's life.

Will keep you updated, sorry for making you wait ;)