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Doing something different.

 


I am doing something different these days. Thinking about life comes with unexpected things. Beautiful unexpected things are what we like to call sweet surprise while bad unexpected things, I would like to call it a catastrophe. And for me, you are the most unexpected thing that happens to me. I didn't even see it coming. That is God's plan. We can try to predict and plan things but we cannot decide what is going to happen. That is not the power besides there is no beauty that lies in that if we already manifested our entire life.

Funny looking back at my older posts and quotes, how I kept thinking I have found the one when they are not 'the one'. Only God knows.

Trip of a roller coaster ride. They said if you love someone and being with them feels like a roller coaster ride, then it is a toxic relationship. I disagree. The point lies whether loving him makes you feel like riding a roller coaster alone by yourself or both of you having a roller coaster ride journey together. I don't know much about true love but if it is anything it would be the latter one.

Just like any Disney princess, I have my own curse too. My curse is I am unable to cry no matter how awfully heartbroken I am. All I feel is numb. It gets to the point where I am becoming suicidal all over again. The last time I cried was 5 months ago when I have a little conflict ( where you came and save me, and also our first official encounter). But today...I cried... I cried really hard when I think of you. Life has been upside down for you these days and seeing you like that made me very sad. For me, you are the most precious human being that I want to protect with my life. I never met anyone quite like you.  A person that has the purest intention. So just like any Disney prince, you broke the curse. I cried not because you hurt me but because how I can feel your pain and I want nothing but only good things to happen to you. 

Seeing you down makes me very sad but being able to stand by your side and support you makes me very happy.  It is a tough time for you right now, for me too. Instead of waiting for you to be okay, I will, no, I am waiting with you.

Doing something different as I usually don't write about my lover in my posts and poetry because I don't like having something temporary in my personal things that I cherish for a long time. But this time, it will be different. And it just began.


Signing off at 2.14 am, 22/3/2022. 
Song - Goblin Ost : First Love

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hey babes,no harsh word!






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Sorry for making you wait.

  First thing first, Where the hell have I been for the past 2 years? How on earth I skip 2023 and not write anything in 2023?? But so many things happened??? There is a new plot, a new storyline, and a new character. Interesting. I will always be surrounded by drama I guess haha.  "I swear, I don't love the drama, it loves me". These lyrics are literally defining the story of my life. This will be a short post, since I want to start writing poetry again, yeay. But I'll answer some questions. What happened to your group of 'so-called friends'? Well, we are pretty much divided. From 6 members to 3 members. To 4 and then it goes back to 3. And we have pretty much gotten closer than ever. And I'm delighted and grateful for having them in my life, Alhamdulillah. They are like my older sisters that I never had :) And we travel the world together just like the famous 3 musketeers <3 What happened to the famous feud and all your nemesis? One of them, which is
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Inflamed.

            Inflamed. Interesting choice of words isn't it?  It is based on the pathology subject that I took for this semester. You know what happen after the cell/tissue injury? Inflammation. The white blood process comes rush to the site of injury and the agglutination and the permeability of blood vessels occurs and more in details that you can pretty much find in the Pathology textbook lol.  Anyway, the post injury first reaction is the inflammation. And if my life is a phase, it would be in "inflammation phase".  A LOT happened since my last post. Betrayal after betrayal. Constantly at the gun point. I've got enemies around me, circling me. Didn't feel safe anywhere. Even right now. It's like a never ending struggle. I am not whining by the way.  But I've learnt SO MUCH. I know that we can't trust anyone. I know how to play it cool. I know the tricks to survive. My bio, on insta and twitter is "Definitely the anti-hero". It's becaus
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