Skip to main content

Doing something different.

 


I am doing something different these days. Thinking about life comes with unexpected things. Beautiful unexpected things are what we like to call sweet surprise while bad unexpected things, I would like to call it a catastrophe. And for me, you are the most unexpected thing that happens to me. I didn't even see it coming. That is God's plan. We can try to predict and plan things but we cannot decide what is going to happen. That is not the power besides there is no beauty that lies in that if we already manifested our entire life.

Funny looking back at my older posts and quotes, how I kept thinking I have found the one when they are not 'the one'. Only God knows.

Trip of a roller coaster ride. They said if you love someone and being with them feels like a roller coaster ride, then it is a toxic relationship. I disagree. The point lies whether loving him makes you feel like riding a roller coaster alone by yourself or both of you having a roller coaster ride journey together. I don't know much about true love but if it is anything it would be the latter one.

Just like any Disney princess, I have my own curse too. My curse is I am unable to cry no matter how awfully heartbroken I am. All I feel is numb. It gets to the point where I am becoming suicidal all over again. The last time I cried was 5 months ago when I have a little conflict ( where you came and save me, and also our first official encounter). But today...I cried... I cried really hard when I think of you. Life has been upside down for you these days and seeing you like that made me very sad. For me, you are the most precious human being that I want to protect with my life. I never met anyone quite like you.  A person that has the purest intention. So just like any Disney prince, you broke the curse. I cried not because you hurt me but because how I can feel your pain and I want nothing but only good things to happen to you. 

Seeing you down makes me very sad but being able to stand by your side and support you makes me very happy.  It is a tough time for you right now, for me too. Instead of waiting for you to be okay, I will, no, I am waiting with you.

Doing something different as I usually don't write about my lover in my posts and poetry because I don't like having something temporary in my personal things that I cherish for a long time. But this time, it will be different. And it just began.


Signing off at 2.14 am, 22/3/2022. 
Song - Goblin Ost : First Love

Comments

Post a Comment

hey babes,no harsh word!






Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY GOSSIP GIRL

Assalamualaikum..Urmm!Tadi blogwalking pastu terjumpa satu GA yang TERAWESOME DI DUNIA! Blog die very cute!Purple!Kemas cantik,cute!I love her blog so much!And thank for a thousand cause making this AWESOME GA!..Saya harap saya menang,doakan saya boleh? Cantik kan banner die? ] Well,baru tengok banner tak tengok blog nyer yang kiut miut! Saya JUJUR dalam GA ini ...Never lie! ^^ ..Thnx kak!
7 comments
More down the chemtrails > >

Sorry for making you wait.

  First thing first, Where the hell have I been for the past 2 years? How on earth I skip 2023 and not write anything in 2023?? But so many things happened??? There is a new plot, a new storyline, and a new character. Interesting. I will always be surrounded by drama I guess haha.  "I swear, I don't love the drama, it loves me". These lyrics are literally defining the story of my life. This will be a short post, since I want to start writing poetry again, yeay. But I'll answer some questions. What happened to your group of 'so-called friends'? Well, we are pretty much divided. From 6 members to 3 members. To 4 and then it goes back to 3. And we have pretty much gotten closer than ever. And I'm delighted and grateful for having them in my life, Alhamdulillah. They are like my older sisters that I never had :) And we travel the world together just like the famous 3 musketeers <3 What happened to the famous feud and all your nemesis? One of them, which is ...
Post a Comment
More down the chemtrails > >

Reborn.

I don't know how many times I have declared myself dead, reborn, rebirth, and arise from dead. But now I really meant it. I think I have it all figured out. At least for now, because you know I am constantly changing. Yup, just like the weather. When you left this world, I did not die yet. But I was dying. Hanging around. But then, I repressed myself. I repressed my feelings. I don't even allow myself to mourn. I don't even grieve over your death. But now, I think I am going to mourn forever. Mourning for you, and my dead soul. It was up until 2019. I let everything slide away. Including feelings. Then, something happened. Something that killed the real me. The real me that came out from my mother's womb and live up until 16 years old. I knew it I am not gonna make it past 16 years old. My prediction was right.  I thought it was just my alter ego to act as my self-defense. But it wasn't. It was me. A reborn version of me. I never see e...
1 comment
More down the chemtrails > >