c a m e l l i a g r e e c e

I don't know how many times I have declared myself dead, reborn, rebirth, and arise from dead. But now I really meant it. I think I have it all figured out. At least for now, because you know I am constantly changing. Yup, just like the weather. When you left this world, I did not die yet. But I was dying. Hanging around. But then, I repressed myself. I repressed my feelings. I don't even allow myself to mourn. I don't even grieve over your death. But now, I think I am going to mourn forever. Mourning for you, and my dead soul. It was up until 2019. I let everything slide away. Including feelings. Then, something happened. Something that killed the real me. The real me that came out from my mother's womb and live up until 16 years old. I knew it I am not gonna make it past 16 years old. My prediction was right.  I thought it was just my alter ego to act as my self-defense. But it wasn't. It was me. A reborn version of me. I never see e...

          Anguish and wrath inside my heart seem cannot dissolve into something more subtle, more tender. Imagine if you invite someone into your house, they became guests for a long time and suddenly they decided to kick you out and declare your house as theirs. How would that make you feel? My heart breaks for Palestinians that thrive for their freedom from their evil guests, Israel. Annexation? Kind of predicted that this would happen. It sounds funny that they want to annex the State of Palestine because they had already done that a long time ago, unofficially. CNN also stated that. They (CNN) stated that this unilateral act is not just harmful to Israel itself but also useless, futile. Why? Because Israel had already reinforced their law upon the Palestinians, also, they guarded Gaza borders. So, they just want to make it official? What is the role of the UN in all of this mess? Just one of the obstacles. They did not want to recognize Palestine...

Hey assalamualaikum! Welcome back for a new review in my blog! IT IS SUMMER TIME! woohoooo Unfortunately, during this pandemic season , we cannot really go outside and enjoy ourselves as much as we did in the past . We need to practice social distancing - 1 METRE AND PLEASE WEAR MASK, BUT THE MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT ATTEND MASS GATHERING. But, it's not like we cannot go outside at all, right? We need to run some errands , maybe some of you go for a jog , stroll in the park or cycling around the neighbourhood. So, the second that your skin are exposed to the sun, you definitely need a protection. I mean sun protection. Don't get me wrong, haha. It is important to protect your skin from the harmful rays that possibly can cause skin cancer, darken your skin thus make your skin looks dull. Besides, we heard it girls, too much sun exposure to your skin can cause your skin to wrinkle fast. We all want a youthful skin right? Alright, let's get started! ...

Blue. The feeling that I have in  my heart. Heavy. The weight of my own grief. Mourn. The only thing that occupies me. 3 and 3. 30 years for you and 3 years for me. Should have been 30 and I should not have that 3. Have you seen numbers in poem? No and I do not want to keep counting. It hurts. Shrug it off. Just like my hair brushed my shoulder When the wind blows When the waves are flooding the shore. Today was supposed to be celebrated. A happy day, It supposed to be. It was yellow. The flower that you gave me. The one that bloom on your birthday. It is shining like the sun When I gazed upon it. Hoped for your wellness As the freshness of your flowers. Until then. That was your words. That is my promise and prayer. We were promised a heaven Willing to wait for you. Heard that forever is a long time. I guess, until then. I love you.           ...

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone! Today I'm going to write review about this scrub! First and foremost,  You can get this at Watsons , Guardian and local pharmacies but you got to be quick because these products sold out real fast. I always be the second last or last purchaser of this product at the store lol. I don't really remember how much it costs but it will not be more than RM 20 for sure.  This product promise you that it will make your skin fresher right? Then I think it is but I really want you guys to alert and understand that this product won't work like some magic scrub or something.You have to use it regularly (depends on your skin type) to ensure and maintain your fresh skin. The fresh skin means in this context it your skin will be free from dirt and tiny impurities.It is recommended for you to use it twice or thrice a week for best result. I use it thrice a week because I have oily combination skin. One squeeze is enough to cover...

 I have tried. And I'll try harder in everything. That is my promise and you are the witnesses. If I fail, go tell them, The fancy tale about my fight, How I dived in and breathe underwater, How I recovered from anguish underneath my skin, And shriek the rage from my thorns, If only I fail. I am trying harder in everything, Shutting down my dark thoughts inside my head, Pacing back and forth finding an escape, Running with my worn-out dress reaching for the light, I can hear my voices louder than ever, Fighting with my bewildered eyes, Let alone the snakes lingering around my wrist, Because I know the snakes are nowhere near to break my spirit.

Hey , it's me. Again. I know it just been two weeks since my last post, but I love writing so no one can stop me , hehe .  I just want to tell you that you should never give up on yourself. Somehow, someway you will rise again even though it does take time but it doesn't matter right? I miss my old life,   I tried to live it again, but it just won't work. I won't feel the same.  The same happiness that use to winged me.  BUT,  My life right now, I shouldn't take it for granted,  I should and I am grateful for everything I have, every chink of armor that I never thought I needed the most,  All blessings that showered me,  I can only offer you my gratitude.  I admitted that I was happier then but now I am much stronger than you will ever thought,  I am not that innocent and ignorant child I used to be.  Every time you try to break me with your rust-covered weapon, the one who crash and fade w...